My Roller Coaster First Year with my Agent(s)

Publishing is full of ups and downs outside our control

Photo by Augustine Wong on Unsplash

A year ago this week, I got THE response every writer wants to a query.

I had been querying my contemporary fiction novel since late fall of 2023. I was batch querying – so attempting to only send out a few at a time and only sending new queries when I got responses. The goal was to analyze my responses to see if my query or my pages were a problem.

Since I was not getting significant feedback that indicated my pages were a problem, and I received enough positive responses to my query letter to indicate it wasn’t the issue, I just kept plugging away.

What does that mean?

Researching agents (MSWL, social feeds, Publisher’s Marketplace, QueryTracker, checking acknowledgements of books I loved that felt similar in feel to mine), tweaking my query intro to be more personal, and most importantly of all, sending out queries.

In that year, I sent out 59.

[Note: I’ve queried three manuscripts in total and this last round the response times (if you even got a response) were much longer than they had ever been. To the querying writers out there, have patience. I received a full request from one agent ten months after I’d sent the original query. I’d long written her off as a “no response means no” pass!)

The Monday after Thanksgiving last year, I remember feeling a bit lost. I stood outside my husband’s home office door, like I do when I’m having big crises of confidence (so much more often than I’d care to acknowledge), and admitted that maybe it was time to give up writing. Maybe I wasn’t good at it after all? Did I have the capacity to write and be a successful book coach at the same time? Did I need to let one of these things go?

I admit, there were tears. Tears of frustration—I’d been querying this manuscript for a year. Tears of loss—I didn’t really want to give up either of these things. I love writing AND coaching. Tears of fear—what if I just suck at all the things and I’m just not listening to the signs out in the world telling me to quit?

I felt like I was coming upon a crossroads. And I wasn’t ready to make a choice.

Photo by Burst on Unsplash

In his infinite wisdom, my husband told me to drink a glass of water and go sit at my desk and start something. Anything. This wasn’t the kind of decision to make in a moment. I think he recognized that I just needed to get out the doubts then get back to work to see what felt most right. We agreed all things were options at all times and we could regroup as I started planning for the new year.

Within a half an hour, an email popped up in my inbox from an agent I’d sent my full to just a couple of weeks before.

She wanted to chat about my story!

Chagrined, my face still splotchy from my earlier breakdown, I slowly marched back upstairs and said to my husband:

“You know how I wanted to quit a little bit ago? Looks like maybe I should wait.”

There were new tears then, but these were more of the relief and hope kind.

Later that week, I had the call with this agent. We chatted about books and writing and my story. She loved it. Read it over the holiday. Said lovely things that ended with, “I’d like to offer you representation.”

I went back to my query list and nudged anyone who had a partial or full as well as a few agents I’d only recently queried and had not responded yet. Those nudges resulted in a few additional full requests, some excellent comments, but ultimately no offers.

At the end of the two weeks, I signed with my original offering agent!

I loved her philosophy, her vision for the book, and her energetic personality. We made a plan for edits and I got to work, devoting the entire month of January to revision, polishing in February, and we went out on submission in March.

I wish this story had a happily ever after, but like most journeys, there were some pretty big road blocks.

In the spring, I was grappling with my next project. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue revising the story I had been working on before I put it aside to get my agented manuscript sub ready, or start on a new idea that was percolating. I reached out to my agent to get her opinion. When she finally responded (odd for her, she was usually quick to respond), she promised we’d chat soon. A few days later, another email from my agent arrived. A form email to all her clients announcing that she was closing the agency.

Over the summer and after some back and forth to ensure my manuscript could stay on sub with a new agent, I decided to sign with one of the agency’s junior agents after she was ensconced in a new agency.

I officially signed with Hailey Stephens at Rosecliff Literary at the end of August and we jumped back in to resuscitate my manuscript that had been floating out there with no one to care for it for a few months. We are still in that wait and see process of submission (if you think querying is tough…), but feedback has been overall positive, so I’m trying to hold onto that.

I knew going in to the querying process that getting an agent wasn’t a magic bullet, but clearing that hurdle only to have a brick wall appear gave me serious whiplash.

What I’ve learned during this process:

• You can only control the writing and how many queries you send out. Put your best foot forward for each.

• You can do all the research, talk to existing clients, feel super confident and shit will still happen. This wasn’t a fly by night agent or agency. I still don’t know what happened, but I have faith that someone doesn’t choose to shut down their company lightly, especially when it affects their other agents and writers.

• Invest in an attorney. I wanted an expert in my corner to determine that the termination protected my manuscript and that the next contract covered all my lessons learned. It wasn’t cheap, but I have a much safer contract for me this time should something like this ever happen again.

• There is no perfect process. There are so many stories from other writers about agent mismatches or editors leaving publishing houses or any other number of SNAFUs in publishing that I am accepting the speed bumps as part of the process.

The mayhem was frustrating and it’s made it difficult to get back into the creative process. And every second I’m not writing or advancing a story, the farther behind I feel. I’ve had to take a step back and remember all my whys–why I tell stories, why I told this story, why I continue to voluntarily split my day between my own creative work and helping others with theirs.

As I plan for 2026, I am looking to the things I can control. The words I can write, the time I can spend on projects, the places I can show up, the help I can give.

The rest is passing scenery. Sometimes it’s beautiful and sometimes it’s a construction zone. Sometimes we’re moving fast and other times we’re stuck in traffic.

Either way, I’m going to keep going.

So, if you need to hear this today, maybe have a good cry, drink a glass of water, and sit at your desk and see what feels right for today.

You never know when that email/idea/award/contract may arrive. Make sure you’re ready for it.