3 Tips for Finding Spots to Layer in Revision

Advice for Lean Writers and Anyone Revising for Emotion

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

Overwriting, or writing long, is an annoying problem but with an easy to identify fix—cut unnecessary scenes, edit out filter words, tighten your writing.

But what happens if you’re a lean writer? That can be a harder problem to solve.

I often find myself working with lean writers, probably because I am one, too.

Lean writers are writers who:

• Might be more focused on plot/action/the “what happened” of the story

• Take show don’t tell to the extreme and rely on somatic cues

• Are early in the revision process and just finished telling the story to themselves in the draft phase

There is NOTHING wrong with a lean manuscript in the draft phase. But it does mean we need to spend some time understanding why your manuscript is lean during the revision phase in order to beef up the right things for our next drafts.

The most common culprit for lean writing I see among writers I work with is rushing from scene action to scene action.

I spend a lot of time telling writers to let the scene breathe.

Okay, Monica, what does that mean?

When you rush from one action and decision to another, the reader isn’t invited into the thought process of the character. Suddenly, Susie is out the door to the next thing and we aren’t sure why or how she feels about what just happened or why it matters to her.

In other words, the reader is probably not connecting with Susie at all.

Take a look at your favorite action movie that has a memorable character.

• Die Hard: Full of explosions and chaos, but we meet our protagonist, John McClane, on the plane, heading to LA from NY to spend Christmas with his family and hoping to save his marriage. All of his actions in the “busy” part of the movie are motivated by his cop ethos to serve and protect, and to get back to his wife and family. We see this protection and family mindset throughout the movie during his conversations with the LA Police Officer over the radio.

• The Bourne Identity: The action in this movie is fast, decisions are made quickly, and the plot is super pacey, and yet the viewer connects with the character through his relationship with Marie, a woman he ends up on the run with when he asks her to drive him to Paris. There are moments of breathing room where he grapples with his amnesia and the fact that he knows how to do things he doesn’t understand. We can identify with his desire to understand himself and escape the chase and find some peace.

If fast-paced movies like this can effectively find breathing room to allow us to root for their protagonists, surely our fiction manuscripts have the space to do this as well.

Breathing room on the page can be interactions with other characters processing information, like it is in these action movie examples, or it can be present as in interiority.

Layering emotion, meaning, and internal debate into your scenes is the best way to stretch a work while adding that magical character arc that pulls your reader through the story.

Here are three places in your manuscript to analyze to see if you need to add a little breathing room to your stories:

Tip 1: Look at your BIG scenes first

Find your big plot point scenes—your inciting incidents, your twists, your midpoint, your climax, your all is lost—and look for:

• How quickly are you in and out of that scene?

• Are you allowing space for your character to be uncomfortable? Or allowing space for your character to make others uncomfortable?

• Does the reader understand the character’s misbelief in those scenes and how it might be impacting their decisions (either by still being omnipresent and controlling at the start of the story or later by slowly changing to a new belief system)?

• What is your character feeling in those moments (and not just stomach churning and rapid heart rates (more on that in tip 2), dig deeper)?

See if you can add more intentional interiority to ramp up the tension and the payoff of these scenes.

Tip 2: Look for somatic cues

One of the most common places I see a lack of interiority is when writers rely on somatic cues to impart emotion.

“Her heart raced.”

Okay. That could be that the character is hiding something or afraid of something or excited by something. Is it clear which one?

While there are probably context clues in the scene (we understand Elizabeth Bennett’s heart racing when Mr. Darcy offers his hand to help her in the carriage is different from the way a heart races when an alien pops out of someone’s stomach), it doesn’t really tell the reader anything about this specific character.

Check your somatic cues and ensure that the reader understands what’s going on inside this specific character’s physical reactions. If there is a sigh, is it wistful, anxious, frustrated, releasing, etc…? Make sure we understand that. Don’t leave the reader to fill in too many blanks. It’s a tricky balance because you also don’t want to spell things out in such an obvious way you’ve insulted the reader. Consider these show don’t tell moments as a connect the dots puzzle. You want to lead the reader to the next dot while leaving room for them to fill in the picture themselves. The best way to ensure your reader ends up with the same picture as you is to include some narrative meaning dots.

Bonus tip: Check around your dialogue. This is a place where writers tend to rely on somatic reactions. Can you give the reader more in those moments?

Tip 3: Check your trajectory

Oh no, Monica, you’re not talking about story trajectory again!?!

Yes!! Again!!

I will preach story trajectory until the cows come home.

Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash

If your scenes are reading like a litany of “and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened,” your reader is missing the meaning of the story and why your character is on this wild ride.

Give us a peek into their decision making, their processing, their reactions to the consequences of their actions. Are they recommitting or rethinking? Are they disappointed or relieved? Are they intrigued or confused? The reader will then be curious to see what they do next with this information.

Bombarded with simple action then action then action doesn’t give your reader time to anticipate, and anticipation is part of the joy of reading. Without it, you leave the reader cold and unsatisfied during your big reveals.

Remember, scenes should lead to other scenes. The protagonist faces an obstacle and makes a decision or takes an action, there is a consequence to this choice or action that you can allow your protagonist to agonize over for a little so they can make their next decision or action, which inevitably leads to a new consequence…Make sure your scenes are linked by “because of that” and that the reader is privy to all the facets of the “that.”

When you’ve identified all the places where you can add layers, work one scene at a time. Stretch out that tension. Take us deep in the reader’s mind. Let us ride the roller coaster alongside them, not just watch them from the ground when we only catch glimpses of them as they speed past.

Let your characters, and your scenes, breathe.

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Not sure where your manuscript needs layering? I have a couple of spots still open for one-on-one coaching and manuscript evaluations in November. With both, we’ll look at your story, find the opportunities, and create a next steps plan to guide you.

Contact me below and let’s see where you can add more breathing room to your story.

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